Saturday, November 20, 2010

That Thing

By: Mikejuha


Each time I go inside a men’s room, one of the most important things in the world will be at the mercy of my hand; that thing which is the most abused, most maligned, and yet the shiest but most intriguing part of me.

Inside the men’s room, I think of it more as a thing that ejects my waste-water, something like an exhaust although there were times I asked myself why in all parts of my body, it sticks there. I know it’s a stupid question.

Sometimes, I can’t help but feel humiliated to think that a thing like that dangles in between my legs. Sometimes too, I think of it as a hideous monster or an ugly cigar that deserves to be burned but not to be smoked (a, er... just depending on how one smokes it – lol!).

I failed to appreciate its marvelous sight; splendid as the leaning tower of Pisa or the Eiffel tower of Paris as it stands proudly tall (and crazy figments of my mind fly forward or backward in time).

Regardless of its size, it plays a big part in the creation process of the universe; no less than the trees, the stars, nor any of the cosmic matters above. It is an object of interest; something which someone can say “exclusively mine” but can always share with everyone. And how lovely the world could go if everyone shares it with one another!

So, it’s one of the reasons why the world goes round and round with its eight billion and increasing reasons; why there are the smiles of kids and the little cries of babies; why wives rise up in the middle of their midnight slumber, fall on their knees in all adulation in front of them and sing “Hallelujah!”, deep throat.

It is the reason why the kingdom of Cleopatra fell, Juliet willingly laid her life, Venus mourned deeply for, and brides eagerly look forward to their grand wedding days so that when and all the visitors leave and they could have it all… Then there were Cinderella and the Sleeping Beauty who, because of it, lived happily ever after.

Now you know why it’s a lady’s choice. And mother knows best!

People in all walks of life - the “young ones” and the “young once” together - dance to the tune of it. And the world has never been the same again, er... just a bit over-populated but for which the condom factories made lucrative business.

Gandhi, Einstein, Plato, and all the great men who sprouted off from this same fatherhood as this one I have made the world worthy to live in. With their sublime vision, the future has never been brighter. And I resolve never to fail their dream – to spread the milk of human kindness, the deep-throat way.

So the next time I rush into that men’s room, I should take my time and hold it gently. I may shake it well after using but very carefully and with my head up high in all dignity and pride. And while my fingers clutch it to complete its ritual, I need to recite this affirmation: “The future and the supremacy of all human races lie in what my hand is holding”.

There are many reasons why people die. But, man, there is only one great reason why our race lives: it’s that thing!

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