Chapter 2: My Death

By: Jayson Patallinghug
email: king_sky92@yahoo.com
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I was still dizzy from the party and I cannot get off my mind what happened back there. Jake was an attractive guy; I have never looked at him that way. He was a friend, and nothing more. Was it the alcohol? Was I being desperate? But no. Deep down I feel that it was more than some random hookup. That feeling, that intense sensation of being swept over. What did it mean?

It was then that I became aware of what was around me. I did not recognize the place at all. I cursed to myself for getting myself lost. Judging by the run-down looks in the area, I was definitely in the road of SRP. Great!

I rolled to a stop at a red light. I looked out of my window and saw that there was a man wearing a gray jacket walking towards me. No one else was in the street. As he came to my window I got a look at his face. He was young, good looking possibly in his early 20’s, with an unshaven, ungroomed look. Probably a homeless man asking for money, or so I thought. I did not even consider the dangers of this place. And so, as he knocked on my window I made the greatest mistake of my life.

The moment the glass went down he pulled out a pistol and pointed it right at my face. “Puta…what do you think you are doing?” he growled.

“Please, I don’t have any money with-“ I began but I was silenced by the sound of him pulling back the hammer.

“I think you’re gonna be my bitch. You like that? You want to be a hero? You actually think this shit is real?” the man babbled. He wasn’t making any sense! And as I glanced at his face I saw his eyes were bloodshot. Shit, this guy was a druggie.

I was silent. I felt like anything that I said would only anger this guy. Through my peripheral vision I saw the traffic light had turned green. The alcohol seemed to wash away as my mind got geared towards my own survival. I could try to get away, but a hundred doubts filled my head immediately. The sound of the car would only trigger the man’s reflex, which would be too fast for me to be able to zoom away, especially at point blank range.

“Are you going to answer me, chicken-shit?” the man growled.

I gulped. “What do you want from me.. I swear I will give it to you if I-“

“Shut up! I am tired of your shit. Fuck, do you think you’re God or something? You fucking make me sick. Say your prayers, bitch because-“

I slammed the gas pedal. I heard the sound of the gun firing.

You know that period between falling asleep and entering a dream? That’s what it was like. I felt nothing. I saw darkness. My senses were dulled, and there was nothing to taste, touch, see, smell, or hear. I was literally in this void of nothingness.

I really didn’t think much of it. I was tired to think a lot of things, but even that was hard. All I wanted to do was rest. Time passed, but I don’t know for how long. It could have been a few seconds. It could have been eternity.

I managed to remember few things. I recalled memories of Lucia. Of how I was in love with her, and then the subsequent breakup. And there was Jake.

There was a tug. Suddenly, my thoughts got more rapid. Details of my life flashed before my eyes, just random events all over the years. Scenes from my childhood, scenes from high school, and memories of conversations I had with my friends and the laughs and the tears I’ve shared. The tugging was getting stronger, and I felt that I was being pulled up, up. Higher and higher until BANG. In a flash of light I was standing on green grass with the sky above me and the sun’s rays shining on me and the sound of cars passing by.

I looked around and realized by the sea of tombstones that I was in the cemetery in my town. But how did I get here? I closed my eyes and focused. My entire body felt numb, and I still couldn’t really feel anything. Scanning my memories I tried to think of the last thing I remembered. The party. Jake. Leaving the party. Meeting the drugie. The gun. The gun. Leche!. A sense of dread swept over me as I put two and two together. Opening my eyes I darted around and looked at the gravestone before me.

And I saw my own name.

“No, no, no, this can’t be happening,” I muttered out loud. I looked down at myself, wearing the same clothes from the night of the party. Sure, I was still totally visible, but there was no doubt that I wasn’t alive anymore. My sense of touch was gone completely. I couldn’t even feel the fabric of my clothes against my skin or the weight of my feet on the ground. I also noticed that my sense of smell and taste were gone too, and I couldn’t breathe at all, although I didn’t really need to. On the inside I felt empty and weightless. 

I was a ghost.

Chapter 1 - The Beginning

By: Jayson Patalinghug

email: king_sky92@yahoo.com

Blog site: www.jaysoncnu.blogspot.com

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Hi to all MSOB follower, this is my first time to post my work in Mike's blog. I felt inspired on his stories that is why I decided to share mine as well. I have posted this story already in my blog but only a few have read it because my blog has been private for 3 year (only me can access, read and write in it). But just this week I am opening it to public.

Most of my stories are written in English because these are my compilation in Creative writing class. But, I am looking forward of writing something in tagalog.

If you have comment, please feel free to contact me. thanks!

- jayson

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One afternoon, I was surfing the net. I was browsing my face book account and checking on my emails simultaneously when I saw photos of my friends. They were happy, having party and enjoying sweet moments with other people so dear to their hearts. I don’t understand but my own heart was aching, the seed of loneliness had grown within and slowly consumed the essence of my humanity. Was I envy to them because they were happy and I was not? Because they got a chance to smile under the sun wrapped in the arms of the one they love, while I suffer from loneliness and continue living in the world of make believe?

I knew that I needed to understand the fact that this world is never been fair. I need to understand that some were destined to be happy and prosperous while others were destined to live a life of misery. But at the back of my mind, I also knew that everything is just a matter of choice. A matter of how we respond to things around us. There were a lot of things in my mind at that time that I couldn’t think straight. I was lying down on my bed for awhile when my phone rang.

“Hey what’s up? What are you going to do tonight?” it was Jake on the other line and it was a miracle that he called and ask me of my own agenda.

“Hmmm..nothing just hanging out in my room” I replied in a low tone.

“Are you not going to attend the party at kris’ house tonight and have some time to unwind?” Jake asked. It was not usual for him to call me on my phone and ask me to go out. I must admit that I have a huge crush on him but I do not want him to know so I replied “Hmm.. I think I am not going, I will just be bored in that party” Jake never argued further and bid good bye over the phone.

Later that night, I was so bored that I could die out of the silence in my room. So I decided to take a bath and went to the party.

Jed?

There were people everywhere. The din of people talking, hooting, singing, and yelling, all while downing beer after beer after beer in red cups. The music pulsed throughout the entire house, some rap song with a guy that had an annoying voice. The whole floor was a mess with food and other junk all over it. Across the room I could spot a guy and a girl hooking up in plain sight. And I? I was sitting, alone, on this couch having downed my seventh beer. I don't even know why I came here, to this party filled with people I hardly ever hang out with, in the house of some guy I've never even talked to (never mind that he was one of those popular guys on the floor), in the middle of nowhere, downtown. And I had trapped myself, because I knew that I was too drunk to drive. Hell, driving over here while sober had been a nightmare of its own. But I guess I just didn't want to be alone on this night. The irony.

"Jed." I turned to face the person who had just sat down next to me and was pleasantly surprised to see a familiar face. "You don't look too great," Jake stated. “I thought you won’t come” he added.

“I know that I don’t look great tonight and I do not know why I am here” I muttered quietly, taking a sip of beer.

Jake grabbed my hand. "Come on," he said, and without resistance from me he pulled me up and led me over to the bathroom. The two of us went in and he shut the door behind him. Now that we had our privacy he continued. "So, are you going to tell me what's up?"

“Its Miguel, he always changed my schedule without consulting me, now I’m in a mess and I hate working in a call center already” I explained with a sigh. The bathroom was actually kind of nicely-made. While the floor could have used a bit of scrubbing, the room was warmly-lit by candles, with an ornate marble sink and white tiles on the walls.

Jake frowned. “That can’t be all of it.”

I sighed again and looked at Jake. While we haven’t talked too much on the floor, I considered him to be a good friend, and he was one of the few people who knew of my sexuality. After a pause, I finally decided that I could confide in him. "I can't get over Lucia," I said.

"I'm sorry, man." Jake pulled me into a hug, pressing me tightly against him. I rested my head against his shoulders. The alcohol was making me feel a little bit groggy, and I felt safe and comfortable in his arms. "You two went out for 3 months already," he continued, "but we're still young. That's plenty of time to move on and find someone else."

“Thanks” I replied. “But I think I really am in love with her. I mean right now the feelings have died down, but I still think about her, and there are just some days when the feeling comes back and I can’t take it.”

"Just give it time," Jake said gently. "And try to focus on other things. Try to focus on other people." He pulled his head back so that he could look at me. Our eyes met, and suddenly, I became aware of a multitude of sensations. The warmth of Jake's body as our arms were still wrapped around each other. The smell of his clothes. How close his face was to mine. My heart began to beat faster. I felt nervous, butterflies fluttering wildly in my stomach. There was a feeling deep inside me that pierced the alcoholic buzz and made me feel awake yet dreamy at the same time. And while I was making all of these observations, the two of us were silent, just gazing into each other's eyes. He had the same eye color as mine, but his were brighter and full of life and compassion.

“I am drunk,” I suddenly blurted out.

“Me too,” chuckled Jake. “But Jed, listen. I just want you to know that I’m just here for you, okay?” he smiled, and it sent a jolt through my spine.

“Really? I never thought you considered me as your close friend,” I said with a grin, moving my face closer to his. He did the same, and before long our lips met. Currents swept through my entire body as I tasted him. I drank it all in, his touch, his smell, his taste, his looks. Even amidst the background thump of the blasting rap music I could forget that I was in some popular guy's house in the middle of nowhere. All that mattered now was that I was with Jake. I was in a world of absolute bliss and serenity.

Then there was a knock on the door, pulling both of us out of our spell. "Hurry up! I gotta piss!" someone yelled from the other side of the door. Jake wiped his mouth and answered, "Just use the bathroom upstairs, I'm gonna be in here for a while!" The guy outside groaned and we could hear his loud footsteps as he left. "Phew," Jake said, and then turned back to me. He began to look uncomfortable. "S-Sorry about that," he stammered.

"Uh... It's okay" Suddenly the moment was becoming very awkward. We became silent, but it wasn't the same, romantic silence that we had experience just seconds before. That spark that had caused me to press my mouth against Jake's was gone. The magic in that brief moment had disappeared without a trace. Hastily I pulled out my phone and checked the time. "Damn, it's getting late, I should probably go home."

"Oh, uh, okay. Are you sure you're going to be alright?"

I nodded and opened the door, making sure no one was watching before striding out with Jake behind me. He followed me out the front door and I looked back at him. He looked down and his lips were pursed as if he was looking for something to say. He finally settled with a "See you later," and I returned the farewell and got in my car.

I could not forget that night and I couldn’t believe what happened. Was he fantasizing me secretly or it was just because of the beer we drank?