Start Over 8

Author's Note:

Maraming maraming salamat po sa patuloy na  pagsubaybay sa aking kuwento.

Kay bossing Mike, at Ponse, salamat po sa pagpayag niyong mailathala ang START OVER dito sa MSOB. 

Sa mga nag-iwan po ng comments at mga saloobin sa mga nakaraang chapters, salamat ng marami.

ken, jihi, mpofpasig, herrick, henry, elochin, mario, micu, ric, poch, macmac, ichigoXD, jeo, at sa aking paboritong si Bing, maraming salamat :)

Nakakataba naman po ng puso ang mainit niyong pagtangkilik sa aking kuwento. At talagang may nabubuo pang Team Tyler, Team jekjek, Team JM.  haha

oh sige, sa Team Tyler, para sa inyo 'tong chapter na 'to.

Happy Reading Guys. Sana magustuhan niyo to.

Mahal ko kayo,

Alexander Chua

http:// alexander0506chua.blogspot.com

Email: alexanderchuablog@gmail.com

FB: haha PM me, ako mag-add sa inyo. :)

................... 

Sunday. Around 5 o'clock in the morning.

Sky's still sleeping, and people are still snoring. "Is this really gonna be everyday? Come on alex, you wake up past noon in the city, why can't you do it here? Okay, I get it, you miss the cosmopolitan feel of the city, but you were born here, you spent your childhood here, your life started here, dumbass!. Instead of making this fucking adjustment a big deal, why not stand up and face this new day with smile? It gets better soon. " says my mind.

"Well, it's not here where I found the real Alex. It's not here where I enjoyed my Life. It's not here where I found my love." panglaban ng isang parte ng isipan ko.

"But then, this is where you hide your sorry ass when everything's going down, this is where you cover yourself from your past, and this is where you chose to start over. So don't give me that attitude and suck it up." sagot nang isa.

Natawa ako. Para akong tanga, iisang alex, pero may dalawang parte ng utak na naglalaban at nagsasagutan. I'm going frakking insane!

I walked out of the room and grabbed a cup of coffee. I sat on the patio and lit a cigarette. Sigh. I put my earpods on and played a music from my phone.

I don't know where I'm at

I'm standing out the back

And I'm tired of waiting

Waiting here in in line

Hoping that I'll find

What I've been chasing

I shot for the sky

I'm stuck on the ground

So why do I try?

I know I'm gonna fall down

I thought I could fly

So why did I drown?

You never know why

It's coming down, down, down

Sigh. Tinanggal ko agad ang earpods when I started to feel tears in my eyes. No! No! "Don't be such a cry-baby." says my mind. Ang aga aga!

Dali dali akong tumayo at inakyat ang kwarto. Tinungo ko ang banyo. I took off my clothes and stood under the shower head. I turned on the valve and cold water started to drip. And as soon as it touched my skin, Tyler crossed my mind. His smile keeps on wandering inside my head. I rubbed a fresh-scented soap all over my body and I see his face. I kneaded my neck as I close my eyes, I still see him staring back at me. "Oh God, why can't I stop thinking about you?" asks my mind.  His breath runs through my body,  from chest going down. I can hear him whisper my name on my ears. I can feel his hands roamed my back, his finger ran across my cheek and softly touched my lip. "Oh tyler" begs my mind. I opened my eyes and I can see my manhood getting hard. "WTF? Did you just build castles in the air? Did you just have jones for Tyler? Creep!" pangontra ng aking isipan. Napailing ako. Aaargh! "This can't be."

After kong maligo, nagbihis ako at nagpaalam kay Nay Cleng na magsisimba lang. Tumango lang ito at tinuloy ang paglilinis. It's been a while since the last time I went to Church, baka nagtatampo na niyan sakin si papa God. If my memory serves me right, nasa bayan ang Sto. Rosario Church. It's where my brother and I had our first Holy Communion.

Nasa loob ako ng simbahan when I feel a little parched. Since hindi pa naman nagsisimula ang Mass, I walked out of the Church and looked for a store to buy something to drink. It was only 5 steps away from the main entrance when I saw this man that I will be marrying soon in this Church, si Tyler. "Anong sabi mo? tanong ng isang parte ng isipan ko. "FYI, hindi pa legal dito ang same sex marriage." sagot naman ng isa. "You two, just shut up." bulyaw ko sa dalawang parte ng aking isipan. He's wearing a light checkered long sleeve  perfectly rolled up, with white semi fit shirt underneath. He matched it with blue jeans and white sneakers. He looks like Apollo, the Greek God known for his heavenly made face. Napatigil ako. My feet wont move. Para akong sinemento at di ko maigalaw ang aking sarili. I can't even take my eyes off him. "Shit, pagtatawanan na naman ako nito." bulong ko. Napabaling ang aking tingin sa kasama nitro,  an old lady probably in her mid 60's. Nakaakbay dito si Ty. She may be his Grand Mom or his mother, I don't know. But  I am pulled on my hearstrings. Seeing him wake up this early and taking time para masamahan lang ang kanyang lola, really moves me. May tinatagong kabaitan pala itong mokong na 'to.

Then our eyes meet. Jeez! Hindi ko alam anong gagawin ko. Part of me wants to break free and smile at him, I want to let him know that I have been thinking about him lately, that I have been craving for his lips all the time. Aaargh! Yet the other side wants to ignore and just pretend like he doesn't exist. Bahala na. I smiled.  I didn't get anything from him but a poker face. He just looked at me for a few seconds and took it back quickly. He never smiled, and pretended like he didnt know me at all. They walked passed me at hindi man lang ako nakarinig ng bati, ni Hi or Hello. "Ang yabang mong hambog ka!" bulong ko.

Umupo ako sa may likuran, malapit sa may pintuan. The Mass started.

Dear God,

It's been quite a while since I last visited your home. I owe you an apology. Sorry po God.

You know exactly what my life has been for the past few years, and I thank you for everything, either Bad or Good, for it made me the person I am today.

I find myself at the beginning of another phase. I do not know what lies ahead dear God, and what's waiting for me. But I am humbly asking for your guidance. Let all the bitterness leave my heart and my sadness subside. May all my beautiful dreams take the place of my yesterdays. Help me put my past behind and be with me as I start over.

Thank you po God.

Aking dasal. And the Mass ended.

As I walk out of the Church, I felt a pat on my shoulder. I lifted my head and saw Tyler, smiling.

"Hey" aniya

"Hey" sagot ko.

"Can't believe I'll see you here" he laughed.

"I could say the same thing" then I laughed.

"you alone?" he asked

"yep"

"cool" he replied.

"and you're with your sister?" pabiro ko na siya namang kinatuwa ng kasama nito.

"hahaha this is my grandmom" sabay yakap nito sa kasama. At pinakilala naman ako nito sa kanyang lola bilang isang KAIBIGAN

"Ay hello po, Mano po." sabay abot ng kanyang kamay.

"Bless you hijo." sagot ni lola.

"Wow, I thought you're Tyler's sister po. You look so beautiful po kasi eh." banat ko ulit na lalo namang ikinahalakhak nilang mag-apo.

"Naku, kayong mga bata kayo talaga. Mas mahina pa ata mga mata niyo kaysa sa akin" sagot nito habang natatawa.

"haha hindi naman po. Sige po, mauna na ako. It was nice meeting you po." At naglakad na ako palayo, na nakangiti. Tinungo ko ang parking lot at sumakay na sa kotse. Aaargh! I can't take the smile off my face. I can't believe he has this hidden side, a loving grandson. "Plus pogi points." says my mind.

I was about to start the engine until I heard a knock on my window. It's tyler's. "Oh please Ty, I've had so much of you today, I can't take this anymore." pakiusap ng malanding parte ng isipan ko.  I pulled down the crank  to open the window and saw Tyler smiling. Aaargh!

"Hey" I initiated.

"where yo' heading?"

"going home." I replied.

"wanna grab some coffee?" he asked. "Oh dear God, if this is what awaits me on this new phase of my Life, then THANK YOU." panalangin ng aking isipan. I giggled.

"hop in." I said. He then smiled at dali daling sumakay.

While driving, walang nagsasalita. Tahimik. I smiled. "Who would have thought that I am with this man that got me hardon this morning? Freakin' Boner!" bulong ko. I looked at him in the rearview mirror and Hail Mary full of grace, he's staring and smiling back at me. "Oh Please don't give me that look, It makes me wanna pull over and rip off your clothes until you're fucking naked. " pagsisigaw ng aking isipan.  Hindi na naman ako mapakali. I don't know how to control myself. I'm feeling nervous, unease and high-strung.

Pumasok kami sa isang well-known coffee shop. Dumireto akong umupo at hinayaang siya nalang ang umorder. Palagi sigurong dito nakatambay itong mokong na 'to at kilala siya ng barista. Hindi rin maikakaila ang pagkakilig ng mga employado seeing his face. "Sorry Girls, He's my date." sigaw ng aking isipan, Napangiti ako lalo.

"Here's your Moccha Iced Coffee"

"how'd you know?"

"know what?" he asked

"this is my favorite" i grinned

"lucky guess, perhaps."

"i don't believe you."

"you don't have to" he said.

" you're lying"

"why would I?"

"I don't know"

"Okay, Okay, for Christ sake, someone told me you prefer moccha over latte."

"are you like stalking me now?"

" don't be such a cocksure"

"speak for yourself" I replied.

"Can't you just be thankful?" he asked. Alam kong pikon na pikon na ito.

"THANK YOU!" pabulyaw kong sagot.

Tahimik.

Tahimik parin.

We're staring at each other for minutes. Wala paring nagsasalita. Then, I saw a curve forming on his lips until he smiled. I smiled back, then we laughed. Sabay pa talaga kaming tumawa. Jeeez! "Alex, you may die now in peace" says my mind.

Nagkuwentuhan kami. He was born pala in New York and he lived there until 8th grade, then they moved here in the Philippines for business matters.  His Mom is a Filipina, and his Dad's an American. He studied his High School in Brent Int'l in Biñan together with his elite Group. They transfered here in Pampanga when his Dad died from a heart attack, since dito daw ang hometown ng kanyang ina.  Sumunod naman dito sa Pampanga ang kanyang mga kaibigan kasi ayaw daw nilang magkahiwahiwalay.  "Sweet." He's the only son, and currenlty living with his Grandmom in Hacienda Royale Subd. in San Fernando. While he's telling stories about his life, hindi ko naman maiwasang lalong mapahanga dito. The way he talks , the way he describes everything, you can feel the sincerity and honesty. You know he's telling the truth. "Or perhaps, you were just deceived and dazzled by his face?" asks my mind. "I sort of don't need you right now, so please go away. This is my moment, OUR moment." sagot ko sa aking isipan. 

He then started to ask questions about me, my life and everything. I was blown hot and cold at first, especially that he's tyler, the smug, arrogant dick who never failed ruining my days. I looked him straight in his two perfect eyes, and I saw his keenness to listen. I then told him everything, my family, my life, my childhood. I didnt see him pooh-pooh, even kick in the teeth. And for the first time, he never turned his nose up and gave me the brush-off  but not until I told him the reason why I am here now in Pampanga, sitting right next to him. He then locked horns with my idea of starting over.

"that's the most stupid thing I've ever heard." he started.

"well, you can say that 'coz you weren't in my shoes."

"If you really wanna start over, moving away is not the key. You have to face the past, fix or learn from it.  Your past is like a ghost, you don't have to fear it, you have to understand, accept and let it go. There's no way you can move on if it keeps on haunting you, you have to deal with it first and from there, you will get what you really want, to START OVER. Don't be such a chicken."

"Sometimes, it's not about fixing what's broken. Sometimes, it's about moving away, leaving it behind and creating a new story. That's how I define start over. You may call it chicken, yellow-belly or whatever you can think of, but it's the courage of facing the challenge of a new chapter that matters. We don't need to dwell on the past , sometimes, it's best if we just completely bury the past and start from the scratch"

"It 's gonna be a lot easier to move forward if you're not holding any bitterness of the past."

"Who says I'm holding anything from the past? I have way forgotten and left everything behind the moment I decided to move away."

"you don't get it, do you? It's not about you forget and leave things behind, it's the thing they call "closure", I don't know if you've heard of it, but it explains why the door has to end so you can move cleanly to the next room."

Napaisip ako. He's right. No matter how I try to move on, my past still haunts me. But I dont want to close it yet, I'm still hoping that something beautiful will come out of it soon and besides, there are so many beautiful things happened to me in the past that I couldn't just shut off. AAArgh! Napayuko ako.

"you know deep inside, I'm right." he added.  Tinignan ko ito. He's smiling.

"i don't know.. I don't know anymore." i said. He chucked.

"Well, for now, you can forget the past, coz you're with me. It'll be kinda awkward thinkin about yo past, when you're with yo future." he grinned. Napatigil ako.

"What did you just say?" I asked. " I swear, I heard him say FUTURE." says my mind.

"Ah.. uh.. nothing. Let's go somewhere else. I'm bored."

Dali dali naman itong tumayo. Sumunod ako. Bago pa man kami makalabas ng shop, he waved his hands para magpaalam sa mga barista na lalong kinakillig naman ng mga 'to. Sumakay kami sa kotse, this time sa tabi ko siya umupo. While driving,

"Can I ask you something?"

"yeah,sure." he replied.

"Do you speak tagalog?" I asked.

"I can understand, I'm just not that good in speaking tagalog, my tongue twists.haha"

"Eh gago ka palang damulag ka, pinapahirapan mo pa ako mang-english, halos lumabas lahat ng dugo ko sa katawan kaka english sayo."

"hahahahaha who says you have to? "

"ewan ko sayo"

"ngayown kow lang alawm, nakaka-uhmm, kaka-- sh!t, what was that again?, nakaka- kakaka- that you're funny"  pilit nitong pagtagalog.

"hahaha hindi mo bagay mag-tagalog. ang sagwa!"

"you bet" haha

Tahimik.

Tahimik parin.

"saan tayo pupunta niyan?" pambasag ko.

"my place" he grinned. Halos mabitawan ko naman ang manibela sa gulat. "his place daw, shit!  anong gagawin namin dun?"  tanong ng aking isipan.

"in san fernando? that's like almost an hour drive away" pakipot ko.

"nah, in Claro St., my friends and I are renting a house just right across our school." he said. Ang galing naman, parang mga kaibigan ko, sama sama sa condo ni Aisa.

Narating namin ang place nila. Hindi ko alam kung bababa ako ng kotse o hindi. Hindi naman kasi kami close ng mga kaibigan niya. Nahihiya ako.  "Eh bakit close ba kayo ni tyler? Naglaplapan lang kayo, twice, pero kung umasta ka, akala mo jowa mo na!" pangontra ng aking isipan.

Pagkapasok na pagkapasok namin ng pintuan, sinalubong kami ni Joy Ann, hinug ako nito at kinamusta. Lumapit din ang iba at nakipag kamayan. Hindi ko alam anong mayroon pero parang ang bait bait nila sa akin. Hindi ako nakakita ng galit o pagkainis sa kanila kahit na halos isumpa ko ang kanilang kaibigan nitong mga nakaraang araw.

"yo hungry? wanna eat somethin'?"  tanong ni Ty.

"No, Thanks." I said.

"Good, let's go to mah room then." sagot nito. Napatawa ang lahat na animo'y parang nang-aasar. Nahiya ako lalo.

"No, I'm okay here."  pagtanggi ko.

"I'm not gonna repeat myself."

"And I don't intend to repeat my answer either."

"I'm not asking."

"I'm not a shin tzu, go get yourself a pet."

"Why don't you wanna go to mah room? huh? yo afraid or somethin'?" he chuckeled.  Lahat nakatatingin sa amin na parang aliw na aliw sa pagsasagutan namin ni Tyler.

"Did I say so? I just don't like it." pagrarason ko, ayoko talaga at baka ano pang isipin ng iba. "ikaw lang naman nagiisip ng malaswa" panggulo ng aking isipan.

"Sige na, sige na, para kayong aso't pusa. Tawagin nalang namin kayo pag mag lunch na ta'yo. Pahinga muna kayo sa room" singit ni Joy Ann habang tinutulak kaming dalawa ni Tyler papuntang room. Wala na akong nagawa kundi sumunod dito. Kinabahan ako. (baka kasi hindi ako makapagpigil). 

Pagkasarang pagkasara ng pintuan, tumalikod ito at nagtanggal ng damit. Napatigil ako't napalunok. "Oh Holy Spirit, this is really not happening." Kahit likuran palang nito, nakaramdam na ako agad ng kuryenteng dumaloy sa mura kong katawan. Lalong nanikip ang aking lalamunan. Kitang kita ko ang hubog ng katawan nito, a perfect shape molded geniusly by God. The line following his spinal going down is really something that Hercules will be insecure of. Nag-init ako lalo. My libido reaches it's maximum level just by seeing him take off his top. Aaaargh! Toxic!.. Lumingon ito and giggled.

"you know, you don't have to JUST stare at my back. " bulong nito at sabay kagat sa labi na halos ikahimatay ko.

"I can just STAB you in the back." I replied.

"haha if that makes you happy, I'm willing to die for you."

"sira uko ka! kung ano ano pinagsasabi mo." sagot ko na lalong ikinatuwa nito. Humarap si Tyler and "Jesus, son of God. Thank you for this blessing and for this food in front of me" panalangin ng aking isipan. Bumungad  sa aking mata ang katawan ni Adan. "Alex, alex, you've had enough, this is fucking too much, please die now, please kill yourself as soon as possible." pagseselos ng aking isipan. His body is like heaven's touch. The curve, the form, the color, and everything, it is way beyond perfection and cream. His pink nipples turn me insanely on. Halos sumigaw ang aking pantalon sa biglaang pagsikip. His little chest hair tickes me to death. "Tama na, please!" reklamo ng isang parte ng isipan ko.

"turn around please" pakiusap nito habang tinatanggal ang butones ng pantalon sabay pilyong ngiti. "juskopo, ano bang ginagawa ng taong 'to at lalong pinapasarap este pinapahirapan ang buhay ko?" bulong ko sa  aking sarili.

"you sayin' something?" he asked habang nakatalikod ako.

"WALA, sabi ko dalian mo!"

"Now, your turn to take off your clothes." bulong nito sa aking batok na lalong bumuhay sa natutulog kong kaluluwa. His warm breath, his bedroom voice, his scent. Aaargh! Sobra sobra na 'to. Hindi ko na kayang pigilan pa. This man is driving me crazy! Humarap ako sa kanya , handang handa na akong sunggaban ulit ang mga labi nito, ngunit laking gulat ko nang nakabihis na pala ito ng pambahay. He looks freaking good in boxer short and white sando. Mga mata nito'y tumatawa, at ang pakpak nito'y namamayagpag sa sarap. "Can I call God now, and let him know one of his angels is missing and flirting with alex?" tanong ng aking isipan.

 Aaargh! kahit anong isuot nito, lalong gumagwapo. "Barbara, kung totoo ka man, patayin mo na ako sa sindak." pakiusap ng kabilang parte ng aking isipan. Gusto ko nang maiyak sa mga nararamdaman ko.

Inaabot nito ang isang t-shirt at short at sinabihan akong magbihis na muna , pero tumanggi lang ako. Nagdahilan nalang akong pauwi na rin ako anytime, ngunit kinontra lang nito. Inimbita ako nito na sabay nalang ako sa kanilang mag-lunch. Gusto kong magdahilan an walang kasama si nay Cleng na manananghalian pero sigurado akong mangungulit lang ito. Hinablot ko ang inaabot nitong mga damit at nakiusap na tumalikod din. Tumawa ito nung una, pero sumunod  din sa aking utos nang tignan ko ng masama sa mata. Dali dali ko namang isinuot ang mga damit habang nakatalikod ito.

"done" sambit ko nang matapos na akong magbihis. Humarap na ito sa akin at binitiwan na naman ang nakakalibog na ngiti. Tumalon agad ito sa kama at humiga. Sinenyasan ako nitong lumapit at humiga din pero umupo lang ako sa gilid ng kama. Walang halong eksaherasyon, pero dinig na dinig ng aking magkabilang tainga ang mga dagundong ng puso ko. Hinila ako nito hanggang mapahiga sa tabi niya.

"just relax" aniya. Tahimik. Nakatitig ako sa kisame, lumilipad ang isipan. Kinuha nito ang kanyang cellphone. Inilagay nito ang isang EarPod sa aking tainga at ang isa nama'y sa kanya. Pinikit ko ang aking mata at pilit na pinapakalma ang sarili. Maya maya, music started to play.

When I try to let you know

My words get tangled up

And everytime I find that I'm, outside lookin' in

I can't let this moment go

When you're the only one

That makes me feel the way I feel inside

Lately I'm fallin' for you

Lately I'm fallin' for you

I don't wanna live a day without you

I just wanna be the one that makes you happy

Happy

Happy

I don't wanna live a day without you

I just wanna be the one that makes you happy

Happy

Happy

Hindi ko alam anong dapat maramdaman habang pinapakinggan ko ang boses ni Tyler na sumasabay sa kanta. Bawat titik naiiwan sa aking isipan. I opened my eyes and looked at tyler, nakapikit din ito while singing his heart out. I never thought he can be this sweet. Napangiti ako. Natapos ang kanta at tinanggal na rin nito ang earpods. Tahimik ulit. Maya maya pa, nakarinig na ako ng malilit na hilik. Tulog na si Tyler. Napangiti ako lalo. I looked at his face and pakshet! Ang guwapo niya tignang natutulog. Nagkamali ako when I called him an Angel, he's a God. He's like helen that can launch a thousand ships. Vampires will be ashamed of themselves when lined up with Ty, he's way fucking better in compelling people to give up their soul, mas guwapo pa. 

Pumikit din ako at sinubukang matulog. Minutes later, naramdaman ko ang paghawak nito sa aking kamay. Pinilit kong hugutin ito mula sa kanyang kamay, pero ayaw pakawalan. Hinayaan ko nalang. Tahimik. Wala paring nagsasalita. Hanggang sa tuluyan na akong nakatulog.

Nakaramdam ako ng haplos sa aking pisngi. Iminulat ko ang aking mga mata at bumungad sa akin ang mukha ni Ty, nakangiti. Napa-smile rin ako.

"Finally..., you sleepy head." una niyang sabi. Napasarap yata ang tulog ko at hindi ko man lang naramdamang tumayo ito, iba narin ang suot.

"hey, anong oras na?" i asked.

"past 5" he replied and chuckeled.

"Oh shit" sigaw ko. Tumayo ako agad at  kinuha ko ang aking cellphone sa bulsa ng pants, pakshet, 5:40pm na pala. Tumatawa lang ito.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" tanong ko.

"coz yo sleep like dead" patuloy na pang aasar nito.

"at least, I don't sleep like a log." pambawi ko. Tumawa lang ito lalo.

"oh labas ka muna, magbibihis lang ako" dagdag ko.

"where the hell yo think yo goin'?" he asked.

"goin' home, where else?"

" pooh-pu-wedeyng mama-mamayah nah?" pilit nitong magtagalog na siya namang ikinatuwa ko.

"baka kasi nag aalala na si nanay cleng sa kin. Ang paalam ko magsisimba lang." pagrarason ko.

"call her up." he said. Ewan ko ba at para na naman akong nahypnotize. Tinawagan ko naman si nay cleng at nagpaalam na nasa bahay ako ng aking kaklase, nakikitambay. Sumang-ayon naman ito at binilinan akong huwag magpapagabi.  Bakas sa mukha ni tyler ang tuwa, inaya ako nito na lumabas na ng kwarto at kumain. Hindi pa pala ako nananghalian. Pagkalabas ko ng kuwarto, nasa sala ang lahat ng kaibigan nito, iba'y naglalaro ng PS3, iba'y nanunuod. Lahat sila nakangiti. Sinamahan ako ni Joy Ann sa kusina at sinabayang kumain. Hindi naman maikukubli ang kabaitang pinapakita nito sa akin. She seems nice, saka sweet. Pansin ko rin ang kagandahang taglay nito.

"I told you, if you get to know him, he's not what you think he is." sambit nito.

"Oh believe me Joy, he's exactly what I am thinking." sagot ko naman. Kung alam lang nito kung paano ko pagnasahan ang kanyang kaibigan. Napangiti ako. Ngumiti rin ito na animo'y kinikilig.

"Does he have a girlfriend?" out of the blue kong tanong na parang gusto kong bawiin. Napatawa naman si Joy Ann.

"Sorry, I'm really not in the position to tell you about his, you know, love life. Pero ganito nalang, ummm, hindi pa siya nag-uwi nang kahit sinong naging karelasyon niya dito. Wala rin ibang tao, maski kami, ang nakakahiga sa kama niya bukod sa kanya. Gets?" sabay hikbi nito. Parang gustong humaba agad ng hair ko sa mga narinig ko. Pero deadma lang, ayoko mag assume. 

After namin kumain, bumalik kami sa sala. Nakikipaglaro narin si tyler ng PS3. Sigawan. Tawanan. Pagalingan. Payabangan.  Umupo ako sa tabi nito at pinanuod siyang maglaro. Inaabot nito ang controller para makapaglaro rin ako pero tumanggi lang ako at nagdahilang di ko alam laruin. Ang sarap niyang pagmasdang tumatawa. Nakakagaan ng pakiramdam. Minutes later, tumayo ako at pumasok sa kwarto ni Tyler. Nagbihis na ako.

"Hey" si Tyler, nasa pintuan at tanging ulo lang ang pinasok. Nakangiti ito. Buti nalang tapos na ako magbihis.

"I should go." sagot ko. Tumango lang siya. Pumasok ito sa loob at umupo sa kama. Humarap ako sa kanya.

"I really have to go." pang-uulit ko at gaya kanina, tango lang ang sinukli nito.

"Thank you." kako, sabay ngiti sa kanya.

"for what?" he asked but smiling back at me.

"yung kanina, for the talk, the coffee, sa pagpapatuloy mo sa sakin dito, for letting me rest sa kama mo, sa food. Everything." sagot ko. Hindi ito sumagot. Tinitigan lang ako nito. "naku, parang alam ko na kung san papunta yan." says my mind.

"Can I hug you?" he asked sabay bitiw sakin ng tingin at yumuko na parang nahihiya sa sariling tanong. Hindi na ako sumagot at ako na mismo ang yumakap sa kanya. The hug lasted for minutes. Hinayaan ko nalang na maramdaman niya ang mga tanong na nasa isipan ko, mga bagay na gusto kong i-klaro. Sana naramdaman nitong nag-enjoy ako ngayong araw na 'to kasi nakasama ko siya. Sana naramdaman niya ang nasa isipan at puso ko. "Puso mo talaga alex?" singit ng kabilang parte ng isipan ko. Lumabas na kami ng kwarto at nagpaalam na ako sa mga kaibigan nito. Hinatid ako nito hanggang sa gate kasama si Joy Ann. Sumakay na ako sa kotse at kumaway sa kanila. Kinatok ni Tyler ang bintana.

"I think yo missing somethin." he said.

"what?"

"your number. I've been asking for it since monday." he said. Napatawa ako, pati si Joy Ann.

"you really want it, don't you? 

"badly"

then work for it!" sagot ko at pinaandar ko na ang sasakyan pauwi. 

Narating ko ang bahay pasado alas siete na nang gabi.Umakyat ako ng kwarto para maligo pero lumabas din ako agad pagkabihis. Pinuntahan ko si jek. Nakita ko si Tita Lorna sa tindahan at tinanong ko kung asan ang matalik kong kaibigan. Sabi tulog na daw ito at lasing na lasing. Dumating daw kasi ang kanyang bayaw, kapatid ni Joyce at nakipag inuman ito dito. Pinayagan naman ako nitong puntahan ang aking kaibigan sa kanyang kuwarto. 

Pagkabukas na pagkabukas ko palang ng pintuan, bumungad na sa akin ang hubad na katawan ni jek, tanging salawal lang ang suot. Medyo humihilik hilik pa ito sa sobrang lasing at sarap ng pagtulog.  Ni-lock ko agad ang pinto, at dali-dali kong hinubad  ang aking suot hanggang sa salawal narin ang natira, nilapitan ko si jek at tinabihan ko ito sa kama.