Dear You

Dear You,

How's life going? :) just kidding. I know by now, you're somewhere far and impossible to reach. Maybe I am crazy enough to write you a letter. But I can't help it, It seems that I still miss you sometimes. Eversince we went our seprate ways, it has been really hard for me to bounce back. I never realize that my whole damn world, which revolved around you, was shattered to pieces. But thank God, I managed to put it back together. And right now, I'm doing just fine.

I felt alone and trapped in life back then, but I stumbled upon some beautiful weird creatures who happens to have the same soul as mine. We got along in the world that we created. I really treasure those dramas, craziness, happiness and even weird things we all spent together. I made it through 'you' because of them.

Maybe, somewhere out there, you still keep on watching over me. At last, I can already say to you, to stop worrying about me. Because, you see, I'm not alone anymore. I have these beautiful weird creatures, I call them friends and I really love them. I finally moved on in life and I feel better.

I have been freed from the cell of your memories, but I will not forget you. I will just wait for my turn to follow you there. But for the meantime, just let me live my life in happiness. Let me find someone to spend my remaining life with. In return, I will gladly give you the rest of my eternity.

I hope you will be patient like you did back then, when we were young and happy. Just enjoy watching me fulfilling my own dreams. I assure you, while you're patiently waiting. Once I'm done here, I will give you a 'bang' and present to you our very own happy-ever-after.  😉

Thank you!

Yours truly,
Me
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Dear you,

I don't know what to feel right now. How I wish you were here to tell me. Its absurd to ask you this knowing that you won't be back anytime soon. I'm in the middle of, I'm not really sure but, feeling hurt or something much worse than that. The more I try to figure it out, the more I'm confused and its making me feel worthless. Maybe you would tell me to go and ask my friends. But I'm too reluctant to do so, it's embarrassing. You knew that I'm not good at making myself clear. That's the reason why, whenever we talk you don't understand anything I say, you always pinch my cheek and tell me "you're cute".

Everytime I'm in a bad mood, nagging at you, you just curiously stare at me and trying to grab my hands. And when I'm finished throwing my anger at you, you stand, hug me tight, kiss my forehead, and looks into my eyes while asking "do you feel better now?" with a heart melting smile. You are my sedative when I'm restless. I wish that I could find someone who would comfort me like you did back then. But I know these wishes really needed one fine miracle to happen.

It is tough, nearly impossible, to find someone without comparing. Expecting that I would find someone bearing a picture of you. I might look bad, desperately hoping that somewhere out there, you exist. Without realizing that I am blinded by you once again.

I hope these tears would be enough to reach you there, sending a message that I have waited very long to tell you.

"I miss you."

Yours truly,
Me
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Dear You,

"Today is a sunny day!" You used to tell me that to wake me up. It gives me joy with the perfect pain of hearing you screaming that Sesame Street theme. That day, I was in the state where I could rest all my worries, because I know that you'll always be right there. I still remember the sound of your voice bouncing around the walls to my ears while you're singing our favorite song. I wonder how you sang it beautifully without hitting the right note. It feels strange, hearing that song again with perfect pitch. It sounds irritably good that I found out, it's not the song I've been missing.

Lately, I feel lazy to get up. It always feels like rainy days; It's cold, gloomy and lonely. Those curtains waving out their tassels bringing back some memory. Memories of me lying in bed watching you fixing those curtain tassels and telling me "breakfast is ready". I was thinking of changing those with different color and style. The bedsheet, the furniture, the portraits and everything that reminds me of you. Its just that, I'm too lazy to let go of those. I was determined to throw all our pictures hanging in the wall. But I find it hard to convince myself. "One last look" I always say. Then I would find myself fast asleep, caressing our old picture together drenched in tears.

I've been sleeping longer now than I did when you were around. There is nobody there to wake me up to tell me that I'm gonna be late. The sunshine outside the window is not as bright as it was before. And there is no more silhouette of you to energize me.

I went to the place where we first met. Yes, it's still the same as it was back then; the bench, the trees, the grass and birds. The only difference is; its filled with moving shadows portraying the scene of ours, the first time we've been there. I felt happy because I found out that it wasn't only me who remembered that. Maybe, even that place missed us too.

I used to wander around that place and feel the torturing pain of envy. Watching lovers around make me sick. Hugging and kissing as if they would last a lifetime. I was bitterly annoyed. Stomping my feet around like a child throwing tantrums to seek attention. I felt like invisible, because nobody notices me. I still remember how I tripped back then. You accidentally caught me and that's when we found each others eyes. "Muntanga" you said. So shocked that I almost punch your face, but, I couldn't. No hi's nor hello's, I found you. And that's how love took us by surprise by simply making me annoyed.

I live life lazily, always sleeping. In my dreams you're there to love me. Even if I'm awake, I'm trying to dream, because that is the only way I have to escape reality. There are many times that I am running after my breath. Tearfuly praying to the heavens and asking for another chance too see you. Whispering my wishes for one last look and memorize your face one last time. "Please!" I beg.

I know it's too late to say a prayer for one last chance. I know that I can't hold you anymore the way I did before. I must be restless in finding the strength to let go of our memories. And be stupid enough to dream and wake up next to you.

I don't have anymore luxury to deserve an answer for this but...

"I . . ."

Yours truly,
Me